Man With Poorly Secured Load in Pickup Feels “That should be alright…”

CLEVELAND, OHIO – After precariously balancing a rolled, unevenly cut, chain-link fence against the rear of the passenger cab, sources report that local pickup truck owner, Earl Davis, 36 was heard to mutter with shaky confidence “that should be alright”. Neighborhood onlookers lamented as he then got into the pickup with his best friend Clevon Truncle, 34, and headed in the direction of the freeway.

“Yeah, he wasn’t too pleased with how it was rattlin’ around back there“, Truncle added, referring to the unbalanced load that also included assorted pipes and unidentifiable jagged pieces of metal ziptied to the aforementioned fence. “He tried to play it off, but I could tell.”

Sources say during the drive, Davis often repeated his statement of confidence in variation, ranging from “I’m sure it’ll be fine” to “It seemed good to you, right?“, seemingly more so to reassure himself than to assure others.

At press time, cars behind Davis and Truncle could be seen jostling to change lanes behind the pair, and screeching to abrupt halts, as objects the men thought were strongly bound flew onto the road. Reports concluded that the sudden lightness of the vehicle led the men to “think [they] may have lost something back there…”

PNC Bank to Change name to ‘TNA Action’ Bank

PNC hopes to lure young males to the banking fold.

PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA – In an effort to remake their image in Middle-America from a heartless banking corporation, Pittsburgh National Corporation Financial Services (more commonly known as PNC Bank) announced this week that they are changing their name. Many customers were surprised to hear the news, but for their part PNC says it feels right.

“We felt we were leaving a large client source untapped“, said chairman and CEO Jim Rohr. “There’s a lot of people left to exploit – er, as a potential market – and we thought this would be a great way to reach out.”

The name change is a trend that began in recent years with other trustworthy industries and institutions like local news broadcasts and religious radio, where it’s not uncommon to hear terms like “Action News” and “Hour of Power.” The mega bank is seeking to garner the same demographic as those other areas of interest.

In a statement released on Friday, the corporation stated:

“In an effort to create a larger Middle-American, 18-24, male customer base, PNC Financial Services will now be known as ‘TNA Action Financial Services’, after minutes of intensive research into the matter after an idea arrived anonymously in a suggestion box. We felt this is the right move for our company at this time, as we transition into a friendlier bank; one that you would like to have a beer with.”

When asked, many men in the target range seemed enthused.

“I love T and A and I love action!” offered Cletus Haggard in the gummy, lazy drawl of rural Sanger, Texas. “Now I’ma love banking too.”

His girlfriend agreed with a similar twang.

“I been tryna tell him ta get a account fer yeers. Now he’ll have some incentive.”

When asked what they thought the bank was actually going to do to make their lives any better, they had trouble saying.

“It’s T and A dipshit! What else do you want?“, he asked derisively. He then snickered as he whispered something to his girlfriend while pointing in my direction.

The change is set to take effect in the near future, though the bank hasn’t yet set a specific date.